for you:

http://forgettherisk.blogspot.com

wow.

want to go from peachy-keen to holy hell my life sucks?? hmm, just think about a guy. seriously, that'll do it.

Nothing exciting has been going on. Just getting ready for school and working a little. I had today off and will have tomorrow off too. Thank the Lord I'm on salary or else I'd really be hurting for money.

The whole school thing really freaks me out though. I'm scared I won't like it. I'm scared I won't make friends. I'm scared I'll get overwhelmed and fail out. I'm scared that I'm financing a whole first year ($40K) and it will all go to waste. Yeah, a lot of fears here I guess. We'll have to add that to my list; they'll fit nicely alongside falling, earwax, and broccoli.

Ahh, I've just got all of this nervous energy I guess....

raft camp

so Blythie Poo, I don't know if you know, but Rob and I were not on good terms (at least in my book). Well, at raft camp Steve preached on Philemon which, to sum it up, is a from Paul calling Philemon out because he is choosing to not forgive Onesimis for something that, at this point, doesn't even matter. So for four years I have been dealing with this hurt caused to me by someone in a leadership position and let me tell you, definitely not fun. At camp I was finally ready to let it all go. It wasn't worth it to me to carry around this burden and be stagnant in my walk with Christ. Granted, I have grown a lot even with this on the back burner, but at this point in my life I just couldn't go further without reconciling the situation. After our study one night Steve challenged us to write a letter to someone, either asking for their forgiveness or telling them that they have hurt you or just thanking them for being an encouragement in your life. After four years, I knew what needed to be said so I walked down to Rob and Liz's camper and just let it all out. To be perfectly honest, I'm sure I freaked them out because here I came, some chick who doesn't really interact with them and I'm all shaky and nervous. Oh yeah, and after about 46.2 seconds I started crying because that is just how I am. Long story not really short but shorter than the original, I forgave Rob and I asked for his forgiveness. The slate has been wiped clean and I feel amazing. Seriously to have a refreshed heart after four years? I wish I would have realized it earlier, because I wasted a lot of time.

Raft camp was an eye-opening experience and God presence was felt. His voice was loud and clear, and I was truly, truly listening.

Blythe, I don't think that was exactly what you were planning on reading but it's truthfully what is going on in my life. Crazy, right? Seriously, after living for the world for so many years, I just want something better, you know? And that something better, is and always will be my relationship with Christ.

QUESTION:

Why is it that Edward Cullen's face is pale white, but his ears and neck are flesh colored?

Cause I'm picking up a message Lord

And I'm closer than I've been before.

So the past few weeks have just stunk. Reasons 1 - 5 are below.

1. My core group of girlfriends are in a funk and to explain it simply:

A is mad at B, C, D.
B, C are irritated with A.
E is mad at B.
D got in a fight with E.
E in the midst of this all has found a new group of friends that does not include A, B, C, or D.

2. My brother and I got in a huge fight which ended up in a family meeting where more tears were shed and I realized a lot about myself.
A. I crave attention because growing up, I did not receive it. At least not in a postive way.
B. When it comes to my family, I am not an effective communicator.
C. I still need to learn how to hold my tongue and watch the things that I say.
D. There is more, but I am currently processing it and I don't feel like I am at a place where it can be shared.

3. School has still been in session. 'Nuff said.

4. I am been so caught up in worldly things that I have forgotten (or just simply not cared enough) to read my Bible.
A. Seriously, the last time I wrote in my Jesus Journal was 10 days ago.

5. Since I've been so overwhelmed by life, I haven't cleaned my room and I am currently out of clean clothes. Which may not be a big deal to some, but I used to work retail and I have enough clothes to last me through the Apocalypse. Not anymore....

But last night, in between sweeping all of the water out of my garage (it flooded. long story.) and having a conversation with a man who is much wiser than me, I realized that through all of this junk God is talking to me. And all I need to do is listen.


I'm listening.

Blythe!

Get a BLOG! For realsies!

So I'm sitting here avoiding the hair dryer since it is pouring rain outside. Only in Vancouver could we have a beautiful sunny day and then in a instant it turns to mush.

Yesterday, Derek and Lindsey sent out a mass text to all our mutual friends inviting them over to my house for a party since my parents and sibling (and fam) are out of town. So having an impromptu party is not my forte, just FYI. I need to have a plan, food, and a clean house. Since none of those things were happening yesterday it was kind of weird at first. Then Lindsey got there and she's crazy as we all know, and it really livened things up! We ended up talking for a long time, then the boys started playing video games. When Aynsley left, we put on Fired Up, which I have seen, oh, I don't know, 123460837 times this week. It really is hilarious, and Blythe, if you haven't seen it, go buy it right now! Anyways, people didn't leave until 2am and then I had to wake up at 8am to take Suzanne home so I basically feel like death right now. Just so you know.

I'm off to my cousin's 16th birthday, then Jacque's grad party, Christine's 21st, and then to top it off, Tal is having a party that I need to make an appearance at.

Blythe, I would totally trade you lives for tonight... I'd rather be laying on the couch all chocked full of pregnancy hormones than fighting this insane ark-like weather in my tiny little vehicle and driving all over town. Wish me luck.

I am a twat swatter

Yes, I did just reference Dane Cook. Surprised? I think not. Friday night my good friend Lindsey graduated from high school and for her party, she decided she wanted to go out to dinner and then go clubbin'. So a big group of us went to Red Robin (her fave restaurant) and then we went to FX. It's like 11:30pm when we get there and we walk in and NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE is there yet. Of course there are the creeper guys standing on the elevated wall, but other than that no one was dancing and the first 20 minutes were so awkward. Once Lindsey, Jackie, Amanda, Seth and I started dancing in our little circle though, things got better.... at least until some guy started dancing with Jackie. Now we were all pretty relaxed about it because it's just dancing- not a big deal right? Wrong. It made two of our friends really mad and they left and went to the car for 2 hours while we continued to have a good time. While Lindsey, Anna, and I were talking we saw this tall boy with a honking schnoz come on the dance floor and it ended up being a guy from our church! So if you haven't said AWKWARD yet, now is the time to do it. Since he was there I think it made a us a little more self conscious because we don't really know him all that well and I was worried he had other friends from church with him. Thankfully, that was not the case. However him and Anna danced for a while... very weird, by the way. Lindsey ended up spotting a guy she wanted to dance with and I was hanging out on the wall for a little while. I'm not really a good dancer but if I'm with my girlfriends it's fine... since I wasn't though I got to be the awkward wall flower. Once Jackie and Lindsey had their fill of boys we all went back out on the floor and started dancing in a circle again and that was a lot of fun until some guys started getting up on the two of them. Now I didn't want to be by myself in the middle of all of these people grinding so I just held Jackie and Lindsey's hand and wouldn't let them go. So by definition, I am a twat swatter.

A lot of drama ensued after that night. Well, to be honest, a lot happened before it too, but it's not really worth discussing... I've already made a color coded chart tracking all of it just so I can keep it straight. On Sunday, Pastor Paul gave a sermon about friendship and I am pretty sure he was speaking right to us. I tried getting all five of us together but Jackie had to work so I cancelled. I think a discussion about friendship will only be productive if we are all present. So that is kind of where we are at right now...