amazing this weekend. He showed me that I cannot live my life on my own. I need to stop trying to take control, stop thinking only about myself, just let go of everything, and trust Him.
After the retreat this weekend, I kind of just lost it. I've been in a funk since my grandmother died and I just couldn't hold everything in anymore. So I broke down with my mom and told her everything I had been feeling for the past 10 weeks. It felt soooo good just to say everything out loud. The next day I went and had coffee with Anna, thankfully with no tears. We also talked about a lot of the stuff I had been holding on to, and then I just wanted to talk about how I felt God working in my life.
He's been trying to show me that I can't do it all on my own. He is there for me always and He wants to help me, I just need to trust Him. He's been showing me that I need to follow the two greatest commandments; Love God, Love others. I haven't been doing that. It's been me, me, me for too long and I don't like living that way.
My birthday is next week, and my goal for this first year of adulthood (since I'll no longer be a teenager) is to follow after God. Love Him first, people second, and me last. I know it's going to be such a hard journey, but it's finally the path that I WANT to take.
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