things i've learned

while being in the presence of Lo and Po.
1. don't start off the hour with 4 shots of mango rum. start slow, try a mikes or a whiskey sour. then go for the bigger stuff.
2. don't do shots with pj. he is the shot nazi.
3. if after peeing in the woods you have to remove nature from your "hoohah" then you squatted down too far.
4. if you are about to commit a party foul, i.e. ralphing, peeing, any sort of body function, you must do it away from the crowd of people. preferably in the woods or in the toilet.
5. never give a drunk girl a phone. or a hot tub.
6. when the cops come because of a "incomplete phone call" pretend to be asleep if you are too intoxicated to speak. also, if you are the one dry heaving in the bathroom, please wait until the cop has exited the home to continue talking to ralph on the big white phone.
7. you can't take offense to anything said by an inebriated person. unless that person sucks. then beat them in the face.
8. don't tell kim her reduced calorie sugar free syrup tastes like butt. she will hit you.
9. taking pictures in the dark will burn your corneas.
10. also, try to refrain from taking photos while you are intoxicated. and if you do, do not try to delete any photos until you've woken up the next morning.

okay i'm done now. i must go to sleep. i'll write more later.